In Print

I write for our family at Esra's Trust. We tell the story of life with Esra, our special needs daughter. There is a bit of making do and doing good while highlighting our battles with bureacracy . I thought I would repost this week's article here at Gone Fishing since I wrote about Norm. (We miss you!)

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A commercial fisherman and fisheries advocate, Norm loved to keep up on the news. Whenever he and Lynda, his wife, came to our home to visit, he always had a bag jam-packed with paper. Reports, fisheries journals, correspondence, magazines, his planner/journal, scriptures, next sunday's lesson plan, and a legal pad. Usually the bag was never opened during their brief stays, but he was always ready to work.

At the dinner table last month, I asked Norm if he had any interest in having us read to him from that trusty stack of stuff, as his eyesight and hand strength declined. He replied, with a grin, "they have been filed away." The filing cabinet being a large trash receptacle. Lynda was standing behind him nodding confidently.

Nothing of import or history was thrown out, but Norm was keen on keeping every bit of print dealing with his love of the sea. We joke with Norm that his office should have been roped off as an archealogical dig, as we frequently endeavored to find the top of his desk hidden under his intricate piles of files. Still, even to his last days of using his hands, and cooperative eyesight, he was managing a pen, trying to write or doing his best to read.

There is lots of cleaning out happening here in New York. Norm's closet, the garage, the basement. Sacred moments as treasured objects pass from one generation to another. As we pack to depart, Sam describes the newest contents of our bags: Norm's workshirts, blazers, pins and tie-tacks. I do not know yet how I will be able to see those things in our closet without stopping to remember.

Norm was a keeper. Truly a keeper of all things that were good. And he adored his grandchildren. He didn't play favorites but he had a special affection for my daughter, Esra, who was born with a rare genetic disorder that is her namesake. In fact, the day Esra was born, she heard and saw Norm before she and I met. Their bond was unbreakable. He would have been excited for her today, as her story of light and love is spread in the most recent edition of BYU Magazine. I wish I could have given him this lovely publication, with its special little article inside, to tuck into his backpack.

Local Media

The local media was quick to print the news of Norm's passing. We were, of course, unprepared to comprehensively compile a list of Norm's accomplishments and adventures so quickly. As Sam, his mother and siblings moved into the third day of composing Norm's obituary, we were surprised to find two media reports submitted online. And, of course, a few reporters have contacted us since the funeral. We are glad for the interest.

You can see some of the articles in Juneau Empire, The New London Day, Newsday, 27East.com, East Hampton Patch, Fred's Place and the Suffolk County Liberty Report.

A Glimpse

The funeral proceedings for Norm were punctuated by a bitter cold yesterday. But the church was full of loving friends, family, and admirers. There was warmth within as we all packed into the family chapel of Norm's youth.

As we collect condolences, reflections and photos from this weekend, we will share them here. In the meantime, here is a glimpse of the funeral, with a fitting tribute to Norm by his first friend, Harold.

A Full Moon and Slack Tide

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday morning we awoke to a beautiful double rainbow over the whale weather vane on our roof - and I thought, is this the sign. Norm had a great reunion with his cousin Harold and our daughter Sarai that evening, who arrived just 30 minutes before he passed through the veil into eternity at 10:20pm on a full moon and a slack tide.

He loved his family, friends, community and church, and will greatly be missed by every one of us. Our hearts are empty and yet full, for we loved a man who was incredibly optimistic, honorable and dedicated.

We will be holding a viewing at the Yardley & Pino funeral home on Montauk Hwy in East Hampton on Sunday evening from 7-9 and a funeral service for him on Monday morning at 10 at the Amagansett Presbyterian Church just a couple blocks from our house, also on Montauk Hwy. It will be followed by a graveside service at Cedar Lawns Cemetery in East Hampton.

We would love to see you there.

With love,

Lynda

On Healing and Miracles

Winding Winter Creek, Juneau Alaska by Lynda Edwards

As Norm has sought for healing, we all prayed for miracles according to the Lord's will. In each difficult moment, Norm asked for a Priesthood Blessing. There were several occasions over the past two years where the tumor waxed and waned. Each time, Sam was usually the one who administered to his father. There were promises of healings, even complete, miraculous healing. And as Norm listened to and acted on promptings for wholeness, we rallied behind him. Elan, Aaron, Sarai, Scott, Zack and Jessica have all made tremendous sacrifices to do, just what Sam has done, in serving their dad so fully and with a whole heart. I hope they get a chance to write about their experiences.

In the meantime, I can tell you about my small glimmers into this amazing transition. First, I learned that healing and miracles are given on God's timeline. Furthermore, physical healing is just a portion of the potential for one who seeks wholeness, even Atonement.

Second, there have been miracles here. Part of these miracles are recognizing the small victories and seeing the little sacrifices made by all. In particular, I have watched my husband serve selflessly as he helps his parents. I am amazed at his strength and courage considering the struggles we face daily. He lives with faith each day and it shows.

A casual observer might see Sam's responsibilities as daunting and too much for just one person. He did a lot this year: moving cross-country, managing a fundraising project, succeeding at work to obtain a promotion, filling-in day-to-day when I can no longer care for my life-limited child and care-taking for his ailing father. This casual observer may have great concern for Sam. But that person does not know Sam or quite grasp the promises he's made and the what God has given him in return.

Abraham Lincoln said "A house divided against itself cannot stand." What is happening here as the family rallies around Norm is exactly the opposite to this. I see a house with walls of amazing strength, courage, and sacrifice. These walls sheltered by bulwarks of service and renewed commitment. But cornerstone of all of this, is the first rock laid by the goodness embraced by Norm and Lynda: the relentless expectations that God will provide a way for complete healing. This miracle of love in its fullest is happening as our family pulls together and our bonds are strengthened. These links of love shine with the light of Christ, as we move through time and eternity together.

On Monday night, Norm went to sleep and he has yet to reawaken from what appears to be a coma. Family members and friends are making plans to gather for a memorial and military honors within the next week.

The Love Of It All

I read this quote at Seeing The Everyday, a beautiful magazine about those simple, prosaic moments of family and the work we do together.

Nothing touches the soul but leaves its impress, and thus, little by little, we are fashioned into the image of all we have seen and heard, known and meditated; and if we learn to live with all that is fairest and purest and best, the love of it all will in the end become our very life.

- Grenville Kleiser

Letter from Lynda

A bit of Lynda's Refrigerator Wisdom

Dear Friends and Family,

We arrived home on January 13th from Arizona, where we'd taken Norm for further treatment of his brain tumor and spend Christmas with Samuel and his family, and were then treated to all the family coming to AZ (who could blame them with such mild temperatures in winter). A wonderfully generous family from our church gave us full use of their guest house as we sought treatment.

We'd hoped to increase his immune system so it could fight the cancer better but had a few setbacks as a huge air pocket developed in his abdomen. Three CT and an MRI couldn't find a hole in his plumbing so laparoscopic surgery was done in search of this elusive hole or fissure but none could be found. They did find his legs were full of clots, so a second filter was inserted to keep them from traveling up to his lungs, etc. He did fine following those procedures for 2 days then started sleeping almost continually.

Finally we decided to bring him home, canceling our plans to do more treatments. Samuel took leave and helped bring him home, will return to his family Monday, but Elan and her children are here until late summer, attending the same school Norm did years ago.

Norm is resting peacefully in his office in a hospital bed, surrounded by paintings of his ships and the fishing vessel Petrel. He has little use of his legs and left arm, speaks in a whisper in a few words. His spirit is strong, wishing to continue the battle. We are seeking medical counsel Tuesday locally and via email with Duke's cancer center.

Many prayers continue to ask for a miracle, yet we understand the will of the Lord's isn't always ours. We thank you for your prayers and continue to ask for your prayers for Norm, we've all leaned heavily on faith and prayers.

My thanks to his classmates Arch Gardner, Jay Creech, Dennis Majerski and Dick Clark for taking time to travel out to see Norm and share stories of their years together. We've been blessed by so many who have prayed and offered rides and help, including his brother Bruce and cousins, Harold and Keith McMahon.

We could not do it without each of you, but especially in our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and eternal life and family. Our hearts are full of gratitude for the blessings we've been given, including almost 38 years of marriage.

With love,

Lynda

Look Not Behind Thee

One Step Forward

Norm's treatment here in Arizona has ended. With the doctors' blessings, accounts closed and the guesthouse almost cleaned out, we are taking one more step forward....back home.

As I write this, Sam is escorting his parents back to New York. Elan, who was here in Arizona for a time to step-in for a weary Lynda, met her own Japan-based family in Idaho, and then they all flew to her parents' home, where she could make preparations for Norm and Lynda's return. Elan has enrolled her children in the local schools, taking a blizzard head-in, is figuring out authorizations, referrals, hospice, transportation, plus the daily life of a home-making mom.

Yesterday, Elan and I conversed about her immersion in strange, but ever-so-familiar new world. The ethereal-of-it-all considering what is about to take place. Mixed in the day-to-day conversations and comings and going of her children, the overwhelming deluge of phone calls and arrangements are all dancing amongst the shadowy glimmers of Norm, in his Gone Fishing hat, work pants on, boots laced ready for a dump run or in his Coast Guard sweats ready to start his morning routine of calisthenics, Fox News and scripture reading.

I told Elan that she is so immensely needed and that all of her gifts have prepared her for moments like this. I admire her sacrifice and her devotion to her parents.

Before saying good-bye, I shared this thought with her, in light of the crazy moments swirling around her, the decisions, the needs, the interruptions, the routines, the lists, the triumphs, the annoyances, the time to just be.

INTERRUPTIONS

"When you are exasperated by interruptions, try to remember that their very frequency may indicate the value of your life. Only people who are full of help and strength are burdened by other persons' needs. The interruptions which we chafe at are the credentials of our indispensability. The greatest condemnation that anybody could incur - and it is a danger to guard against - is to be so independent, so unhelpful, that nobody ever interrupts us, and we are left comfortably alone."

-Anonymous
from The Anglican Digest

A Brief Moment Together

A few days before Christmas, we bridged miles of distance, thanks to the miracles of Skype and online video conference, to connect together as a family. Norm and Lynda were together with all four of their children for the briefest of moments. Elan and Sam plus Scott (Sarai's husband) and myself (Sam's wife) were all huddled around Norm as we focused in on the computer screen and the faces of Zack and Sarai in Alaska.

Thanks to an ending semester, Scott had ten days to volunteer as an assistant to Norm and Lynda, as Norm pursued some alternative treatment here in Scottsdale to combat his aggressive and once-in-remission Stage IV Glioma. Over the holiday, Scott and Sam were the main caretakers for Norm (when he wasn't in the hospital), since he has slowly lost all physical functioning. But his spirits are always bright, you can see the sparkle in his eye and a grin of gratitude and immense love shines through him everyday.

So back to our little family moment....Seated around our dining room table, with children sqwauking online and off, we overcame delays and challenges from being Skype-novices. But after punching every button, we finally saw and heard each other clearly. Some of us were in Arizona and some in Alaska. After Sarai and Zack (and Izzy and Marin) had a chance to talk with everyone, we talked with Jessica in Colorado for a glimmer.

I think the only one not in on the Skype-fest was Aaron. But my memory is a bit cloudy, because I was trying to block out the two-year olds: